Saturday, February 18, 2006

of a blister and of hope

had it not been for the three amoxycillin capsules i took since last night (with eight hour intervals of course), i would not have made it back home to davao.

now i believe the person who said: "sakit ng kalingkingan, sakit ng buong katawan!"

injured my pinky of my right foot wednesday. a blister developed and the skin broke all in a period of two hours, while walking in muddy terrain, under the heat of the late morning sun. i thought not much of it then, as my whole body ached from all the walking to and from sambag. and a sore pinky is not exactly what i want to remember before i went to sleep. i just did the usual first aid, cleaned it up with soap and water as i took my nightly baths.

thursday, a limp is quite obvious now. hmmmm, still far away from the stomach. so i just cleaned it at night with betadine and soap and water. pretty ok, but i feel a little bit immobilized as i cannot run, much less walk as fast as i wanted to.

friday. the moment i woke up at the un-godly hour of 5.30a, i know something is wrong with my foot. i looked at it to confirm. holy kamote! my foot is swelling. the blister has been infected. but i braved the day as we went through with a scheduled training. with the hopes of getting better, i bandaged it before i left the office. only to realize that it has worsened around noon. as the sun set on friday, i decided to crack a capsule. i would have consulted a doctor first, but being in the middle of a barangay that is connected to the highway by a muddy (yet again!) ever diminishing road (being eaten by an irrigation canal, right by its side). i would have to go with the advice of ate lanie.

and that was how i came to remember: i am mortal, after all. capable of feeling pain from a pin prick, much more from an infected foot. when it comes to dealing with the people in communities, the temptation to think of greatness more often than not permeate my agenda. i always have the vision to make everything better. to help them solve their problems. i have this glorious feeling of making a difference in the lives of the people i journey with.

i looked at my foot another time and laughed at the irony of it all. the man who wanted to journey with the poor cannot even walk straight.

then it hit me, it is never me that would make everything better. i cannot even make the pain disappear from my foot (darned it! no alcohol for me....) i cannot help them solve their problems as their problems as their own. and the feeling, the glorious feeling of making a difference in the lives of people is not so glorious after all.

yet, it is the least i can do. it is the least i can hope for. the road to real development is never gonna be easy, but i know, what we do now can and would make a difference down the road. after all the projects have been completed, and all the reports have been liquidated and filed, the people remain to move on and fight their daily struggles. in a blink of an eye it could all be over. but that blink could be as long as forever if it is spent fruitfully.

and maybe that would be the most that i can do. to hope with the people. to ask questions with them, and with enough faith and hope, make things possible through them. and maybe i can have more fun with them. and make friends with them. since the start of the year, i have been working with youth in communities. i figured that i cannot run my meetings and do activities with them the way i run it with the oldies. it has to be with more pizzaz, yet never loosing the meat of the matter. short enough to be interesting and long enough to cover the important things... like a mini skirt.

sweet, short and sexy!

i do not dream of big projects. all i want is for these young people to realize the good that their have done for peace to come to their communities. or at the very least, think of how they can carry the legacy forward. and have fun along the way.

for at the end of the day, that is what makes this job all worth it.

i still feel a prick of pain down there. but i know, it would get better.

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