Saturday, May 15, 2004

of leaving and arriving

JVP Batch 25 volunteers left for their ORSEM at 2am earlier. they sould be in Cagayan de Oro already, getting ready for their trip to Manila later this afternoon at 4p.

i couldn't help but feel the euphoria of leaving. i still remember distinctly almost the same time two years ago, when i left for the JVP orsem. well it wasn't exactly a long journey but i tell you it was a start of one.

i remember how i held Grace's hand that day. it was like holding the sands of panglao. soft and fine, yet slipping away... slowly. i feel the moment is near to let go, yet gently holding on. i was willing to go and leave everything behind for ten months of adventure. i look forward to experience the stories of the volunteers who took the plunge ahead of me. yet, i am even more excited of writing my own story. of being at the forefront of the twists and turns ahead, of being at the crossroads of choices.

i left that day, but i was not hoping to arrive soon. and come to think about it... two years down the line, i can still say that i have not arrived.

i have not arrived, simply because i do not know where to arrive at. funny, i haven't really formulated the question to that. would i be parking, or staying a while, would i be docking, or would i be settling?

somehow, i do not need to go on asking... maybe because i do not need an answer, not just yet. i am simply contented with tasting the gift that was freely given. of bathing myself with the blessing that happened and continue to outpour itself each and everyday of my life.

my destination is uncertain, i think it is even uncharted. but i somehow got my wish, to be look at twists and turns in the eye and to stand at the crossroads of choices. god is really good at this job... granting wishes.

now i have my next wish. i just wish that i would have the courage to go through the the crossroads of choices and not to remain at just looking at them in the eye.

for how would i arrive if i remain at where i am. when i remember ping, my jvp23 batchmate, i remember that i first heard "padayon" from her. to continue... to move forward. and never ever remain.

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