Friday, June 04, 2004

confronting our demons

i am no war freak guy. i even try to avoid conflict as much as possible.


see i have this office mate who for some strange reason stopped talking to me directly. she would nag and yell to my team mates but never at me. she would give her instructions for me through orland, but never to me. at first i thought that this is just one of those menopausal bursts in her. but no, she was all this last week, even for the most of this week.

cold shoulder, that's what i am getting. so i thought to myself, if she doesn't want to talk to me, then it would be a pleasure not to talk with her to. after all, who needs a crumpled face in the morning. who needs a person who only wants to do her job, and imposes that everybody do theirs in the same structure as she sees it.

then the bubble burst. we had a session with cyn and came face to face with the following realizations:

1. what she was doing is a personal attack on me. i am a 3 in the enneagram. and people of my personality type always wants to have a good image. bad image means a shattered personality, that's how normal 3's like me see stuff. but then again, we also know that in order to move towards a healthy 3, we must go beyond this image thing and just project who really are... but then again this is another entry.

2. she is a projection of the mad woman of our lives. for me she was like my mom. the nagger, and the one who always wants to get her own way. the authority who is always right, who knows it all. that was she. i get away from this type of person by putting her in my ignore mode. just let her be, don't listen to her non-sense. just look at her and close the senses.

3. however, this mad woman is not my mom. she is a co-worker. and thus, she deserves the respect and the mentoring that is due all co-workers.

4. thus, she must be dealt with by the team, because the damage she did was with the team.

and no matter how pride swallowing it would be. she must be dealt with according to the tenets of good relationships. as of now, i am still on the offensive stance, but cyn is right, we would have to speak with her. not considering her age, but considering her value as a person.

i know this is not going to be easy. it would be a test of being true to oneself and to the “it” AADC has been talking about since the start of the year. and as much as i want to avoid this conflict, we should meet it head on and let it rear its ugly face. for only in real honesty can it be pacified, hopefully put in its rightful place...

that would be something to look forward to on monday. our strategy has already been laid down over halo-halo and siomai yesterday, today, we consolidate our ranks, and get ready to meet our demons.

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