over

today is a holiday. so i was not supposed to wake up till later. however, my cellphone refused to cooperate and was all busy receiving texts and calls all morning. one of the texts i received was from grace, an old friend back in my quezon city south district parish youth ministry (pant, pant).

must be one of those quotes or something. but no it was an advisory for change number. so we went through the usual kamustahan and why the change of number. what truly woke me up from my slumber was when she asked who i was.

i answered: "overworked, overjoyed... seems like i am living in excesses these days..." it must have been my half-awake-half-asleep state that was answering the question. and for the life of me, that could have been true. more true than i accept to believe, more true than what i hope i am in.

yah, i am working too hard, went home late last night. and here i am still at the office on a freaking holiday to do more stuff. it is as if, there would be no tomorrow. of course the jerry in me would react by way of more gimiks, more late nights, more beer.

i would usually advice myself to slowdown. but the advice never worked. the more i tried to slow down, the faster my pace has become. i always get the feeling that the pressures of taking it easy is more cumbersome than just, well letting it flow. this body surely has a lot of energy into it that cannot and would not be contained in a mold.

anyways, i can almost see it coming. almost the same scenario of three years ago. i am surprised though because i am not worried. maybe it is because i have something now, that i do not have then. the only problem now is pinpointing what exactly it is. i'd know when it happens.