but my story happens as we were going home last night. darkness has just settled in. the day, and the PPA are both all over. i glanced towards the front of the jeep, noticed the faint light coming from the headlight. The reflectorized studs at the middle of the road looks like jewels all lined on end, extending limetlessly.
then bang! it hit me. a thought just came to me that the normal jerry of three years ago wouldn't even dream of having this kind of adventure. i imagined me in my "corporate" playground. i remembered the spoils and all the things that money can and can't buy. images of how hard work can only be compensated by harder parties. smoke, booze and everything in between. i used to look at my favorite neck tie and smile for all the situations we got ourselves into. the abnormal then is the normal now.
my playground is now the greens of the fields, the sights of davao, the quiet of the night, the shadows of yesterday, the sea breeze from samal, the sun and dust from riding a habal habal. all of these compounded by pressures of having to do more work after doing more work. coupled with working with people, even those i do not exactly like. and what do you have? a body tired to the bone, a thinning frame, a receding hair line (haha, paranoid!), skin burnt from too much sun exposure (work and play), blackheads and whiteheads all over my face. and top that off with a smile that never fades.
an attitude that faces the whole package of the day, still afraid, yet willing to go on.
afraid of holding on too much, and of letting go too easily. sometimes, the dread of not being able to make it through the day takes the life of me, but i snap back and say that the important thing is to live life now. for doing that makes life something to look forward to. somehow it sees me through the day's end.
i sat in silence, as the passengers got edgy as we got nearer and nearer tagum. and even if the trip back home continues on and on, even if the occasional bumpy sections get in the way, i know that i am exactly where i want to be.
me and emma, riding a habal habal across algon in davao del norte