i wished with all my might that today is a saturday. but i simply cannot do that. still feeling grouchy i let out a cough and sat at bed, not wanting to speak - as there is no one to speak with.
my thoughts drifted to last night, when the effects of cofee and conversations with a friend boosted my spirits. definitely much better than the morning after. we, for a time revolved around the topic of perceiving.
and how perceiving can actually make us see what we want to see. it could also be a coping mechanism that helps cushion those things that i may not be ready for. but at the end of the day, it is but a choice to look at something in another angle, a tactic of delusion... perhaps.
then i type my thoughts now. and felt the pang of bitterness and sadness climb anew. i shrugged it off. today can still be beautiful.
i just don't know how long can i continue to convince myself, to see the beauty of it all. maybe something is a miss. cause seeing the good side never tasted this bland before.