Tuesday, November 23, 2004

knock knock

with a little pain in my back, i woke up this morning. pretty sure that i need to muster all the strength that i can get. its the 23rd already and the feeling of the last few grains of sand in the hour glass is the image i see myself in. pretty excited too for the meeting with ben on the 25th. i've been psyching myself already for that december and the uncertainty of next year.

with these thoughts, i hurriedly fixed my laundry which i would drop to anton rose before going to the office. i thought, this would another be mindless day, just going through the works of finishing up what i need to be doing.

then i checked my email. there is a small inconspicuous email in my hotmail with a subject -- JVP. must be another one of those emails wherein we get announcements from the JVPCO. but nay, it was from Jo! more than that it is a personal letter. i read through it and up till now i am still at a loss. on one hand, i am still quite firm in my resolve to work in mindanao. on the other is a personal invitation from a person that i admire to work with her in building her team.

torn. that is how i would say my heart is. jo told me about her dreams of becoming a teacher, and putting up her own foundation in the near future. and she told me how jvp came in the way to invite her to train teachers, instead of being one. frankly, it hit a spot.

is the north wind blowing again? is it leading me to another call? it would break my heart to leave mindanao! but the opportunity to work with a good leader is something that i have been yearning in the past year. i would be sad to leave davao, the place, the food, the people and the independence that it means to me. but the call to work for a cause that one person feels very passionate about wakes a passion for doing something of relevance long asleep.

with every breath, the pain stabs my back. as if reminding me of the decision that i have to make in the next few days.

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