Monday, October 24, 2005

wow 29

i have never slept the weekend since 2004! maybe it was something i need.

friday night: the stress of ninin leaving and work stuff that never gets done. i went looking for someone to share my misery. it was a good thing, no one was there. so i headed on home, read a few chapters of BFG and before i know it i was snoring the night away! at 8 in the evening, not bad at all.

i woke up at 9a the next day feeling refreshed. and right after pbb, we went home to continue what i have started. i slept and slept until the next day. only waking up at 12 noon to fix a broken faucet, and going back to sleep again.

that was great. i am back in kabacan, body refreshed and feeling a bit lighter.

now i have more time to think about what has been happening in my life. 29 is such a mysterious age. probably not a great too many stories were heard of people who turned 29. probably because it is the threshold of young adulthood. probably the more eventful years were the years before it and the years after it. the phenomenal 30.

i remember ross as we were riding at the top load of a jeep going to sungko, days old in mindanao. she was telling me how turning 30 made her feel more free and better about herself.

so it seems, 29 is the age of almost there but not quite.

i do not want to wait though until 30 to be freer and feel better about myself. thus to say, i would not want to waste this year of waiting for the third decade, nor would i want it to be a year of looking back to all those things that has happened. particularly of the leaving and arriving of friends and people in my life in davao.

i want it to be a year of discovering me. of getting to know the person i have become, 4 years out of manila, 8 years out of college, 12 years out of highschool. i was looking at pictures from my jvp year last night, and compared it with some new ones. my smile has definitely changed! and i wonder what else could have.

i want it to be a year of getting better, of new lands to go to, of new experiences to conquer, of new friends, lovers, of feeling sad and happy and all those in between. this should be a year of opening up myself with the grace of god.

when wonderwoman was asking me what my wish for my birthday was a week before the day. i told her that i do not want anything else. LIAR me!

then at the day of my birthday, i said in a simple prayer that i want to be more for other people. maybe that was why i go back to myself. for to give is to know that there is something to give.

this i wish, this i pray. and may my wish come into fruition.

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