she is a phenomenon of such intense character. who can resist her charms? when she calls my name, i have no other choice but to follow her whim. she is has been the reason why i braved lands beyond my vocabulary. she is the light in the long tunnel of uncertainty and doubt. most of the times, i felt lost, my bearings fail me, my compass is running haywire, but when she blows, i always turn to her call and i feel found.
and there she goes.
she has blown yet another time.
i felt her cold, sweet kiss one june's day morning. playfully entering the room from beneath the door. the room was airconditioned, but her presence made sure that i'd know that it is her. the hair on my arms stood on end. i shifted position, trying to listen to what my boss is telling me. but i see her voice, and hear her heartbeat in him. she is here. and there is no need to fear.
but, i was afraid. it was a conviction that has started to crumble. i was afraid of admitting something. something that i have held for truth all these five years. afraid of letting go of a life so fun, a life well lived, a life on the edge of everything.
then i remember a friend asking me over kfc lunch, one day, in ncc: ano pa ba ang mayroon sa davao for you?
i shrugged, for i know deep down, there is. but i just could not put a finger to it. one thing led to another. there were many voices from people i know. asking me the same question, giving me their unsolicited advice. yet, i know her voice, the one that i have waited for and is now quietly whispering, over and over like a mantra.
the north wind asked me once more: what is left in davao for you?
this time, i shook my head.
for there seems to be none.
i am still afraid. but she is blowing mightily.
and so i must go.
because she calls.