Monday, May 17, 2004

connect ka jan...

was it a dream? but i could have sworn that me and grace were texting each other from 3am up to about 5am this morning. though there were no text messages to attest to it, there was this feeling that i havent felt in a long while: connection.

the feeling that someone is out there with whom connects with me. i remember one of my favorite tv ads, the globe commercial wherein each person who is holding a phone gets connected with another through a blue band flying/floating through the air. it may have been one of the most powerful commercials to date that speaks clearly of a human need... that is almost always not met, or denied in most cases.

i have been in davao for almost two years now. and for the adventure that i come to realize, i somehow have sacrificed one very important part of my being. i somehow have forgotten a core value that i hold dear, that is to create bonds with people that matter.

i feel that bonds have been somehow missing these past few days. and come to think of it, it seems that people that really matter have been quite amiss too. i have never felt so alone, so untouched, so out of touched ever since i came home after the chicken pox thingy.

i strive to link up even just to network, for i have lost something that is essential to my well being.

that was why, the incident this early morning has likewise been valuable. it is like talking through animated pauses and texts. no matter, it was as if, something has stirred inside again. something jolly has come over me that has made me look forward to this day once more.

the problem is, i just do not know, until when can i keep this feeling intact. lots of things will be happening the next few days, even now as i write, many things to do are already waiting to be accomplished.

i am kinda figuring out how to end this blog. somehow, i do not feel a resolution has come over me. but, i do not also intend to resolve many things about my life. maybe i would just let it be... just another one of those unresolved entries.

"a love song for no one" by john mayer reverberates in my ear. i think the lines "i'm tired of being along, so hurry up and get here..." captures everything that i have written here. don't you think so?

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