i recall a conversation i had with tita elma. we were talking about my reasons for resigning. i remember pretty well, how we processed my feelings then. i am leaving because i have failed to go with the change that the organization is having. and i felt that i have fallen by the wayside with what the organization is undergoing. that conversation remained cerebral until now, hours before i become another official statistic.
change has finally caught up with me. what i have been waiting to happen, what i have been longing to feel is finally here. butterflies in my stomach, my mind in a blur, my heart beating as far as it could. i think this day is not going to end easy.
and i am not talking about the process that i have to go through with agnes, ate baby, the turnovers and the like. i am talking about the process that would be happening inside.
the stepping out into a whole new world of possibilities. that is the process that i would be going through today. i am leaving my comfort zone of nearly two and a half years to rely on a 10 minute conversation with ben. i am leaving my mentor, colleagues and friends for another organization of peoples, functions and friendships. the framework that i have walked through is now being challenged for application or dissolution at a different context. the foundation of development work in mindanao is being rocked: to be consolidated or to be weakened it to its knees.
this day is definitely not going to pass by easily. it will be remembered when courage is translated into action, when ideals are filtered and formed into realities, when plans are concretized into the now. while fear nips every now and then, i look forward to what the future holds. it looks a bit hazy from where i stand, many things unclear and look different from what it seem.
but one thing is for sure, i wanted to be in this position. and whether i am right or wrong, only the path that lies before me knows.
and so i take the step...