Monday, December 27, 2004


the family home is now at 409 mayon st., quezon city. we are back where we started. we are leaving our malaya home to make way for omar and mischel. i realized that my stuff at home could now be contained in just one box. my pictures, the papers i wrote, letters i've received are all the stuff that remained in manila. all the others, the going concerns are already in davao.

and a smile formed as i taped my box. i left it in malaya because omar was kind enough to reserve a space for me if ever i find myself in manila again. now the place just needs a major clean up, repair and paint job and it would all be ready for its new occupants.

omar and mischel are really on their way. happy for both of them.

i spent today the way that i would spend weekends in davao, i.e. sleeping the entire day. i chose to squat in lyan's bed in mayon right after lunch. i woke up to hear a good compilation of ebtg playing. haven't heard that cd in ages. i browsed through all the cds and found stephen bishop's on and on album. i remember how omar and me liked this guy.

bish is the type of guy who could really write and sing about being lonely. and as if a drug, it makes you wanna hear more of it and feel more of the loneliness stuff. the poetry in his songs creates a picture of a hopeless romantic who cannot seem to find the ONE. despite all of the efforts and givings. hwoow shit... its becoming clearer now.

familiar how my stories take on the same plot. damn.

going away seems the easiest thing to do. hear bish sing of on and on, separate lives and you'll know what i mean. anyways the bottom line is somehow summarized by kit when we were talking in naga.

kit: "jerry, you are not asked to go into a committed relationship, if you are not ready..."
jerry: ...

see that's the problem with me. i know i have a great capacity for learning, but all this capacity cannot seem to be of any use when i talk about relationships and all. kit's remarks didn't even sink in until now.

am i in trouble?

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