Wednesday, January 26, 2005

gust of wind

the north wind has been blowing. two times already.

late last week, i got a text from accenture. hah, my dream company asking me for my most recent cv. for excitement and the thrill of being wanted, i tried doing one and submitted same day to them. it was omar, who actually reminded me of the north wind. i told him and a handful of friends about this, but only bro seems to have hit the spot.

i tried not to think about it, and just went on with the days. until this morning.


not actually, it was a friend from lgsp asked me to submit a resume and an application letter for a program officer position in cotabato city. to be thrilled once seems ok. but to be thrilled again is really something. i literraly paused from what i was doing. said a little prayer. and thanked my friend for the invitation. i also hinted that i think i might not be going through with the submission.


seems ok.

but the greenery, the silence of the mouth and the two hour ride to cotabato city this afternoon really got me thinking.

one part of me is saying that i should be "sigurista" (not a word in english that exactly translates this term). the other part is telling me to trust in the process. the thing is, my contract with assisi is only till the end of march. and nothings sure until me and ben talk again for the next stuff that i would have to do. it was a debate without words. it is like the feelings squaring off and making me an audience. weighing the pros and cons. trying to see how stuff are. delivering argument by argument which cannot be understood through words.

kinda weird.

after eating two-piece chickenjoy meal, withdrawing some quids and meeting nette-nette in cotabato city. i took the last aircon trip back to kabacan. again the greenery, the silence of the mouth and the two hour ride got me thinking again.

this time, a part of me said that i should trust in the process. though, it wracks the nerves of people. it is unstable and i really never knew where it desires to go. it is something that jvps somehow understand. while it is the most illogical move, it seems to be the most comfortable choice. it has somehow not failed me, but the 20 or so years of not trusting it almost always makes me uneasy. but what the heck, it has worked before, am sure it would still work this time. no use in worrying about the future. for no one woud really be sure what will happen.

especially when the north wind begins to blow.

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